Adolescence and Adulthood on the Neocolony Brazil
The repetition of certain terms has a character of calling attention to the shaped subject. In addition, the neologism CISTEM (from the word SYSTEM) and its derivations lead to the letter C for CISGENDER, to be FULLY understandable that the political and social responsibility of most of the issues mentioned on this article derives from the Cisgender people, not the Transgender ones (opposite to how many cisgender people like to think).
We’ve come to the hardest part of talking about these perspectives, and I pray that, in the future, it won’t be the last for most of us. Why do I say this? Life expectancy for transfemale existences is around 30 and 35 years.
30 years of age for trans existences with more eumelanin, black, racialized, papered (brown lol) and indigenous people. 35 years for existences with more pheomelanin, those with European or Asian descent.
There is no way to talk about Transgenerity without talking about Raciality. The Neocolonial Brazil in which we live today was built on understandings, habits, fallacies, laws, policies of an era of indigenous genocide followed by an era of slavery, whose Golden Law did not bring real support to the former slaves of the Colonial Brazil. Transforming them into salaried workers, debtors with a name on financial Cistems like Serasa. Connected to a whole lot of Cistems that still holds them and blocks them from healthy life opportunities for the most part.
The SAME occurs with most trans people, except when the family, from a healthy childhood, cared for and perceived the child/eré’s needs without manipulating or judging them for differing from the standard.
Even so, most progenitors and effective parents, together with elementary schools, in a Cistematic way, INDUCE (with the lack of conversation and emotional exchange mainly) the trans teenager to want to leave home early and to use the hypersexualization that such trans teenager suffers as a means of selling their body and making their own money. Opening opportunities not only for bodily-mental traumas, but also for sexual blocks when real affective relationships present themselves.
Myself, Kukua Dada, as a travesty even though I chose to preserve myself until I was 18 years old until I had the opportunity to be considered an adult and be able to get involved with whoever I wanted without anyone’s rejection, I had many terrible sexual experiences and all of them with cisgender men. That was before my transition. After that, I was even robbed by people I trusted because I thought they liked it and that they valued me even though I was a travesty.
It hurts to be a trans person, and contrary to what many cis people think and say in YouTube videos, no one who was a cis man/cis woman becomes a trans woman/trans man. Transition is not a choice, it is a decision, an encounter with oneself. The difference is: a choice is so superficial that it can even be forgotten by the person who made it. The decision changes your life path in an intense and unforgettable way, it’s a discovery of oneself. No trans person who decides to transition does it to suffer.
If a trans existence has already been damaged in childhood, the best way to deal with it is with patience, empathy and affection, even if the trans person exhibits isolating and/or strange behaviors. If the existence has been well cared for and supported in advance, the minimum is pronominal respect and respect in general, which is something that cisgenerity usually ignore at some point and that all trans existences, hurt or not, deserve.
With any trans existences, questions and comments about one’s body, about surgeries, about other trans people who were brutally murdered by the Cistem are all unnecessary and inconvenient.
Opportunities for affection are also very rare for trans people, from childhood in some cases, but it is something very certain in adulthood, which also makes playing and touching habits from cisgender people totally unnecessary and inconvenient as well.
And to finish, I will now address YOU, trans person. The same conversation my therapist had with me, I’ll have it with you: just because you had a turbulent childhood, you don’t have to think that the relationship with the cisgender who assumed you as a partner has to be turbulent too. Just because you have trouble understanding and processing affection doesn’t mean you have to sleep with literally anyone. And this message, in addition to being intended for you, also goes to the Kukua of the past who did exactly such nonsense.
Appreciate yourself, Trans Person, you deserve much more than what you were taught you deserve! You, as a transgender person, have enormous potential that no cisgender person (whether it’s a cis Doctor of Neurology and/or whatever graduation they have) can measure or fully understand.
